It's been about 3 years that we have been battling headaches with our dear Morgan. She has been a very healthy child but we are having a hard time fighting this. At first her headaches came with much irregularity and were mild in intensity. We would hit seasons where I forgot that she was prone to them...and then they would strike again.
This past year has been a difficult one for her. I have come to realize that she is pretty much living with a constant headache. Some days they escalate into a migraine and she sleeps or even throws up. Morgan is not one to be overly expressive so it is often difficult to determine the degree of her pain. Numerous times I have asked her to rate her pain on a scale of 1-10 but that just frustrates her. Guess that doesn't fit her personality type!
We have visited a few different doctors and so far have not had much success. This is an area that is very difficult for me to navigate. As everyone knows, they are so many schools of thought on every health issue in the book. I know people who have and haven't had success in modern and alternative medicine. Steve and I are still trying to figure out where in earth we stand in this big, bad medical world. And of course, everything costs money.
As much as I desire healing for my dear girl, I long for her to see the goodness of God in her trial. As we are now years into this, like I said earlier, I am seeing that the headaches and the fruit of it affects her daily. She is so super laid back and easy going but this recent round of intense headaches has also brought some anxiety, fear, and intense emotions. I keep talking with her about trusting God even though it's hard. Knowing that God is good even when our circumstances aren't good. I want her faith to grow in the midst of her suffering.
It is also a big challenge for me to trust God through this all. As a mom I just want to do what is right and fix the problem. So far, there has not been an answer. I am constantly wondering if we should do this, try that, try this doctor, etc. The options are almost never-ending. Right now we are seeing a homeopathic MD that initially seemed to bring some relief to her but these past couple months have not been good. I know that I can not put my faith in a method or a person but that ultimately I have to trust that God is the one who can bring healing to her. It is a hard road for me to walk.
This verse has brought much comfort to me as I try to figure out and understand life...and realize that I simply cannot.
"O Lord, my heart is not lifted up, my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me." Psalm 131:1-2 I pray the same thing for my sweet girl. That her heart would be calm and quiet as she trusts in her God.