I had a bit of a rough week. Last Sat. I had contractions for about 3-4 hours and I thought I was entering into labor. They stopped...and nothing happened. I feel like that little incident threw my body over the edge of being big and pregnant, to becoming huge (did baby drop?? think so.), beyond uncomfortable, and feeling like I'm about to blow up. I feel swollen, often dizzy (doc told me that could be my low blood pressure), nauseous, and so tired.
It's interesting to me how God created this process for our bodies to go through. It's really a crazy miraculous time. To think there is a fully formed little someone inside of me always blows my mind. It's a privilege to be a mom and to carry these babies. It's also quite humbling. My body has become someone else's. It's no longer just me. I feel overtaken by what is going in inside of me. Everyone movement is really and truly hindered by the little someone.
Though physically I am more than ready to have this baby, I know that I am jumping from one frying pan into another! Having a newborn is no cup of tea. Though I do have some experience here, I am always sobered and nervous about the transition. Sleepless nights are very tough for me. In a completely different way than pregnancy, nursing is demanding on the body. My postpartum emotions are often on full display.
It's funny how this season feels so demanding and intense, but when I think back to my other kids, I can hardly remember these days. I'm sure they were just as tough, but by the grace of God we got through them and have sweet memories and these wonderful little people to share our days with. I'm confident that will again be my testimony of this time, even as intense as it all feels right now.
Tomorrow is a new week full of life and kids and work. Any day now we will meet our new little one that will change our family forever. I am forced to tackle each day with faith and confidence that God's timing knows best.
I really am looking forward to this new stage, esp. having a little one to smell and squeeze and enjoy. The kids (esp. the older girls) are beside themselves with anticipation. They knew that I was having contractions last weekend and I'm pretty certain they already feel like the baby is overdue!! I look forward to seeing the love that I know they will all have for this new one. That has been a highlight for me my previous 2 pregnancies.
This is one of my favorite pics of me and Greta. She was just a couple months old here and now she is a chatty, silly 3 year old! Can hardly believe it.
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| Photo credit: Tina Lapp |
Sweet reflections. God has given you grace and He will continue. Exciting scary times!
ReplyDeleteIt IS a huge season of faith and trusting God and patience and I think in many ways being reminded of our "smallness" (which is ironic, considering how NOT small we are). If the end of a pregnancy doesn't show us how finite and dependent on God we are, nothing will! I think the time just before and the weeks immediately following the birth of a baby drives us to lean on God in every way at a level we don't often experience otherwise. I know this is can feel SO hard and overwhelming much of the time, but I see so much faith and honesty and trust throughout this entry -- you are in a good place, and I can't wait to see you welcome this beautiful little one into your family. He or she is one lucky kiddo.
ReplyDeleteReading this post gets me more excited for you Lori!
ReplyDeleteWow, so much is happening in your life! The Heitland family is going to have another little person!
It's exciting to see you living in the hardcore adventure of it all with faith for whatever lies ahead. I think you described much of life in this post, not just pregnancy and caring for a newborn. And that encourages me that we are together in this journey of faith.
this post is so real and so true. how kind of God to pour out His grace on us - regardless of which 'frying pan' we are in.
ReplyDeletei agree - you totally dropped. but you are still looking great!